yes, the regularity of my blogs becomes, well, not regular.

it has been about three weeks since my last entry. the sad truth is that i just haven’t made time to write in here. i am almost dysfunctionally overwhelmed, i think. but really, this is not sad at all. this is me back to living my life again, probably busier than i have ever been. and all of that is a really good thing.

i confess that i live in fear that now that things are moving along after my being sick for so long, my surgery, etc., that it will all come back, all the agony of feeling like shit all the time and not being able to maintain the band, the music, the improv, a social life, and so on. but it’s about eight weeks since my surgery and so far i am a lot better than i was. i do have some odd symptoms lingering. and i have good days and bad ones. but i am not the mess i used to be.

anyway, things are good. and crazy. band is back in action, or new bandmate andrew is a godsend, and i think the overall vibe of things is better than it has ever been. there will be some big announcements in the coming months, i think, and we have shows on the horizon for the first time in a while. new songs are in the making. new plans are in the offing. my improv classes are going well, 301 is nearly over, and my improv group, newly coined GARAMOND, will actually begin performing next month, which is insane. i got into atlantic and i start tomorrow night. i am trying to find new and exciting ways to make money without selling my soul, the new economy frightens and nauseates me. the world is changing quickly. a hundred years ago we barely had running water. thirty years ago we didn’t have computers. where is it all going?, i have to wonder. but the creative spirit is more important than it has ever been, i know that and feel it deep in my bones. these are the times when beauty is heightened. when great things are made. even if no one notices them or pays attention.

anyway, my last blog’s resolution about not writing new entries until i edit all the old ones and post them kind of fell by the wayside. but i am still working on that project.

to anyone who actually reads this: apologies for the infrequency. it’s a lot easier to blog more often when i am laid up in my apartment recovering from this or that. life does and will get in the way. but i am still here and there will be more, so keep reading.

happy february, blog readers. i am going to be quick here.

first a few updates and observances:

let’s all bow our heads and pray to the powers that be that our government can stop being the egomaniacal, divisive clusterfuck that it generally is for long enough to pull the current economy out of the shitter. by all accounts it’s bad and getting worse, but everyone loves to take their time. though i do agree that obama’s initial stimulus plan had some weird, nonstimulating things in it, like 50 million dollars, i think, to STD treatments. something like that. anyway. people need to move some ass. for real.

and speaking of. sometimes i feel like the luckiest man alive. because some people are having such a hard time right now. it’s periods like this when i want to become a volunteer, toss my own egomania/artsiness, and try to make the world a better place through concrete action (i.e., feeding and clothing people) instead of the lofty kind (sensitively strumming my guitar, fixing dark moments and universal truths in time/song). it’s a lot to have a roof over my head and to be able to be creative, to eat well, etc. i feel terrible. no one in this day and age with all that’s at our disposal should be struggling to survive unless that’s a choice. and certainly it is not.

i am, for the most part, feeling pretty good. tomorrow is five weeks since my sinus surgery. everything feels back in full swing and for the first time in many months i feel like myself again, mostly. honestly, it’s been so long that i don’t know what the baseline is anymore. but essentially i am feeling alright, and hoping it gets better still. i am still nervous about what will happen when i go off the nasty antibiotics (rifampin and doxycycline, if you must know). i here and there experience symptoms/sensations a lot like what i was going through when i was sick. but for the most part i am back on my feet. not gonna discuss it anymore because i am a superstitious person sometimes. but yeah. started singing for real again this past week and it felt great. doing improv, seeing improv, writing, and so on. doing everything except drinking/bar-related activities. but that will change soon, too.

ok, anyway this is running longer than i had expected. so i’ll pull the plug. the resolution you should concern yourself with is that i may refrain from posting new blog entries until i finish and post all the old ones that are still sitting in the “unpublished” area of my blog. i believe there are thirty or fortyish such unfinished posts. surely they can’t all be that important. and some may no longer be relevant. but i don’t want to waste them. so i’m going to try and get some of that done. and then back to regularly scheduled chronological programming.

ok, then. we’ll see how that works out.