SOMETIME IN AUGUST 2008: 

i am in a cab on my way home from somewhere, in a hurry as usual. after obtaining my destination the driver totally ignores me and continues on with his phone conversation. loudly. the driver is screaming on his cell phone with the earpiece in. the radio is on and the tv in the backseat is on. and i am thinking that a taxi in nyc on a weekday afternoon is perhaps one of the most inhospitable, anxiety-enhancing places in the whole world. it’s not just all the noise–from the whiny, molasses-slow traffic to the driver to the bad music and silly taxi-tv broadcast–but the idea that this is the norm, the usual (but wasn’t always so), that’s eating through my nerves like the scraping of silverware across a plate. it’s the idea that i never asked for any of this but that someone deemed it necessary enough to implement this system on the whole city. i would be perfectly happy–no, much happier–without the stupid tv (do we really need to watch it all the time? don’t we have smartphones and pdas for the important in-transit stuff?), with a cabbie who actually acknowledged that he is providing a service instead of being a rude asshole with no regard for the passenger (i’m not asking for a touchy-feely “how’s your day going?” conversation, just some recognition that someone else is in the car, who’s paying you to drive them somewhere. you know, like “does the radio bother you?” “am i talking too loud?”), especially considering the astronomical cab fares these days. but maybe people just don’t give a shit. not on a meaningful, human level anyway.  

of course, the ultimate mindfuck is that on this particular day i only watch in fascination, don’t say anything. usually i speak up, i do. but today i just sit here taking it all in. wondering how many of us just sit here taking it all in. so lame. 

so i’m taking it all in in this horrible cab and i feel like i am going insane. it is so not peaceful in here right now. it’s fucking insane. do you hear that? i wish you could, it’s unbelievable. perhaps some of you have, and know what i am talking about.

i am pretty far from having too many hippie-ish tendencies. but that said, i don’t know that the desire to not be on pins and needles–or for a little peace and quiet, if you can fathom that–during every mundane waking moment is so out of line. sometimes i just have to wonder how we came to this. and where this ride is taking us. i think we’re entitled to a bit of a refund on the fare, whatever it’s going to amount to, for all those “extras” we never asked for or wanted, yeah?  

not sure what the end point is here. perhaps that we all need to speak up for the right not to be frazzled any more than is absolutely necessary. or perhaps just that some things have gone way too far. i think both statements are true. i will leave it at that.